The human nature is nothing if not baffling. All of us regularly do things that defy common sense. What interests me is ‘why’.
Take for example, the many people who suffer in silence in loveless and outright abusive relationships (physically and/or emotionally) and marriages all around us. You know a relationship is not working, you know it has become a weight and is poisonous, yet you stay in it. You stay with someone who beats you up, or puts you down in private and public, lowering your self-esteem. You come up with all kinds of ways to rationalize, saying ‘things will get better’, ‘he/she has promised to change’, and so on. Of course, it rarely happens, and a little bit of you dies while you are waiting, till there is nothing left. The real reason of course is that you don’t think you can get a better person once the relationship ends. Eventually, it does end one way or the other but you are scarred for life.
How about in your career? You complain constantly about your job: the pay is too low, the hours too long, the boss is overbearing, colleagues are nasty and jealous. Yet, you remain in this poisonous environment where you spend the lion’s share of the day. The real reason you stay is that the steady paycheck got you hooked, and jobs are scarce. Some ladies are even sexually assaulted by their male bosses, yet they suffer in silence.
There are several scenarios I could put together, but it seems that as Tim Ferriss said: ‘People will choose unhappiness over uncertainty’. We humans are creatures of habit. Once we settle into a pattern, it’s hard to break. We are resistant to change. When situations in our lives make us unhappy, we must ask ourselves if the suffering is as a result of our convictions, or a result of our fear of the unknown. If it is the latter, the sooner we take action to be free, the better.